Me (voiceover): The following is a conflation of real events, dramatized for anecdotal value.

FX (sound effects): Fog Horn. Footsteps on pavement.

Me (voiceover): Through discovery, I had obtained the name and address of someone who allegedly was responsible for paying for advertisements that promoted counterfeits. Let’s call him John Doe of Any Town, USA. I called him up

FX: rotary phone dialing

Me (voiceover): . . . and after a skillful set of questions, I determined that he was not connected to a counterfeiting ring in Shenzen.

Me (on phone): Out of curiosity, Mr. Doe, have there been any unusual events recently in relation to any of your credit cards?

Him: (astonished) How did you know?

Me (voiceover): Mr. Doe then went on to tell me a tale of fraudulent charges on his card. It’s an oft-told story, rendered none the less sad for its repetition.

Me (on phone): Mr. Doe, did you by any chance use that credit card to purchase something online, perhaps from a non-US website, perhaps from some kind of discount website, perhaps offering prices 50% below what you might have expected to pay?

Him: (after a long self-shaming pause) Good lord, you’re right!! Why several months ago I got a good deal on a Tim Tebow jersey!! I remember being surprised at the time to see lettering in another alphabet on the package label. And the fraudulent credit charges began shortly thereafter!!

Me (voiceover): It wasn’t a Tebow jersey in the real story. That was just a cheap swipe at Tebow.

FX: Arena organ chords and crowd cheers

Me (voiceover): So there you have it. Buy counterfeit goods, and you’re asking to have your credit card number stolen.

Announcer: This has been another episode of Anti-counterfeiting Radio Theatre, brought to you by people acting under color of authority.